Occasionally, I do pay attention. Take this morning. While driving under the overpass for the NJ Transit rail lines, the ones that run from the hinterlands of Jersey into our little burg of Hoboken, they were talking about a child predator on the radio. Some guy in Greenwhich, Connecticut was spotted yesterday trying to lure kids as young as 10 yrs old into his van by asking them for directions.
Holy Mapquest, Batman! I switch off the radio.
"Hey, guys?" I call out to Ian and Julian in the backseat.
Huh? They both look at me a little glazed over, still digesting their waffles.
"Do you know what to do if a stranger talks to you? A grown-up who you don't know? What do you do?"
Ian knows what to do. "You say, 'You're a poopy!!' Ha ha ha!!" Yes, we're starting to get to that age when excrement terminology makes it into every conversation. I'm loving it.
"No, guys. You run away. You say "I don't know you!" really loud and then you run away and find your parents or your teachers. OK?"
They both look at me like I am asking them to walk with their shoelaces tied together.
"No, really, that's what you have to do. Get it?"
"OK, Mom." They both nod blearily.
"What did I ask you to do?"
Julian offers a concise recap, as concise as he can with his word-search kinda toddler speech pattern. "If if if if our Mommy or or our Papa or teachers talk to us, we should yell and run away."
Holy cow.
"No, guys. Not your parents and teachers. A stranger. Do you know what a stranger is?"
Ian knows. Brace yourself. "A stranger is somebody with no arms, no legs and no head. Ha ha ha!!" He's laughing so hard he's holding his side and I'm trying to figure out when the Backyardigans got so graphic.
"Guys, OK, one more time. A stranger is a grown-up who YOU DON'T KNOW. A stranger. Got it? So what do you do?"
They answer together, offering the obedient, programmed response I was hoping to finally hear. "We run away."
"Yes, exactly. You run away."
Ian decides that now I'm just nagging. "OK, Mom, we get it."
Now the fun part will be when I pick them up from school. Will they scream and run, or follow me home? Hard to tell with these two. I'll let you know tomorrow if I still have them.
Yup, hello from Greenwich CT....so I'm not sure if it makes me a good parent or an awful one that I scared the crap out of Celeste on Friday telling her about the predatory stranger in the white van. I wanted to empower her with the knowledge (so like you said, she'd RUN AWAY if she saw this guy) and she'd feel confident & ready, knowing what to do. Instead she was terrified & filled with a zillion questions, & I ended up snuggling with her that night until she fell asleep. Hey, this parenting thing is difficult sometimes...!!
ReplyDeleteHi Ian's Mom:
ReplyDeleteI'm reading your blog as you have asked. You write really great comedy. I can just about put myself back there with the kid to school delivery & pick-up system and the safety against strangers strategy! Some things never change even 20 + years later. So I date myself - I never did think I would respond to a blog! Funny thing. Kids are like kitties and doggies. They come home.