Non Sequitur

I served a salad last night with dinner. Ian and Julian actually love salad. I know, you're thinking, what bribe worked for eating salad? No bribe. They just love the green stuff.

Julian was especially excited. He calls the hard white parts of the lettuce "crunchies" and wanted all of them. Ian wanted all the olives, which both boys call ceitunas, a near-miss pronunciation of the Spanish word for them.

"Mom? Mom? You know, you know, you know..." says Julian.

I'm looking at him and my eyes widen further with each "you know?" until they are bulging.

"Mooooom! Don't look at me like that!"

Oh, sorry. "What is it, Julian?"

"OK. Mom? You know? You know..."

Not this again.

"Yes?"

"You know who has lechuga? You know who?" Another Spanish word, this one for lettuce.

"Who?"

Julian puts both palms down on the table, as if to steady himself when he shares his next piece of information.

"Witches!"

Excuse me?

"Yeah. Witches! They have lechuga. And you know what else? You know? You know?"

I'm still on Witches!

"You know? Also. The dinosaur? The one we saw. Him, his name, his name was Poopy Mopsydo."

I wondered if my reading of Beatrix Potter the night before got a little confused. But I was still on Witches!

I start to shake my head that we don't use that word, Poopy not Witches!, especially at the table. Julian is one step ahead of me, waving me off.

"Mom, Mo-Mo-Mo-Mom, I know. I know. But really. That really is his name," he shrugs a sorry, but what can a fellow do if that really is his name. It has to be said. "It really is Poopy Mopsydo, his name. It really is."

"Who is this?" I ask, still on Witches!

"Mom. You know. He's the brother of the other guy!"

"Does this have anything to do with the Witch who has the lechuga?"

Ian and Julian drop their forks and look across the table at each other. Ian is shaking his head and I can tell Juli is totally shocked by my question.

"Mom?" Ian puts a hand on my elbow, gently, as if to soothe me during my bout of delirium. He gets close to my face and speaks in a whisper: "What are you talking about?"