A Morning Talks Makeover

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Folks, I got nothin'. I spent the morning working on some ideas for making over this very blog. If you look around (eyes up, down, left, right... there you go.), not much of a makeover happened here today.

Why a makeover? Well, I thought this little blog deserved its own place in the world. Like thisblogisawesome.com or youwillpeelaughing.com. No more blogspot. Just us and the .com. And the blog will have its own email and Twitter handle. Syndication. Thousands of followers. We're talking "big time" here. World blog domination.

The first order of business on the makeover front is naming. Turns out, naming is hard. And stressful.

I have spent more hours than I will admit to you or the IRS trying to generate some name ideas. "Morning Talks" is okey-dokey, but I think the blog has more spunk in it than that. Don't you? Well, here's what I've come up with so far. Now you. (Turns out one brain does not make much of a storm.) What do you think?

WormsOnTheSide.com
SnakesEtc.com
PatienceIsOverrated.com
Stabbyville.com
Chatterboyz.com
TestMyTosterone.com
AWildDeuce.com

Then there's the need for a logo. Anybody know people in the logo biz? Oy.

OK, I'm worn out. More importantly, I'm supposed to help with Ian's T-Ball today and I need at least three hours to prepare for that, mainly because I'm not sure what the preparation entails.

Please chime in, and a special prize to anybody who comes up with an idea for a name that I finally use. Don't know what the prize is, but I promise it will be something special. Like one of these boys. Ha ha... just kidding. I think.



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Brain Damage

Let's not reinvent the wheel, shall we? Bill Cosby said it best: all children have brain damage. Don't believe me?

Me: Ian, eat.
Ian: Wha?
Me: Eat. Your food.
Ian: I can't.
Me: Why?
Ian: I can't find my mouth.

Need another example? Julian's brain damage is even worse.

Picture Julian in his room alone, jamming stuffed animals down his pants. He looks like a cross between the Incredible Hulk and a porn star.
Me: What are you doing?
Julian (looks up with bank robber face): Huh?
Me: With the animals. What in God's name are you doing?
Julian: Playing hide and seek.

Like, duh. I immediately left his room and Googled for child psychologists within a 20-mile radius.

If you still need convincing, maybe Bill is the best person to explain. Bill's skit here will also explain why my face looks like it does when you click About the Author. That really is what I look like. See? Brain damage.

Poop! Is So Funny

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This is disgusting, yes. But if you're around school-age boys, you'll know that the word "poop" is the single most hilarious word in their lexicon. We've tried every punishment to get them stop saying it, but no dice. The word "poop" is just too funny. I clearly can't beat 'em. So here's my attempting at joining 'em.

Poop! Is So Funny

Poop! is so funny
Be it sticky or runny
When I hear those long o's
I just want to snort from my nose.

Poop! is a laugh
In the pool or in the bath
Poopie face! or Poopie head!
Or just plain Poo! will turn me red.

Poop! is a hoot
Bouncing down the laundry chute
Little pebbles roll around
Squishing when they hit the ground.

Poop! is so funny
Be it sticky or runny
Be it orange, pink or gray
Say Poop! loud, it'll make your day!


(No? Still not funny to me either. Time for lunch.)

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